‘I was diagnosed with ADHD at 37.
If only it had been earlier.’
This article by journalist Kat Brown gives some searing insight into what it feels like to have navigated childhood, adolescence and early adulthood with undiagnosed ADHD. She rails against this idea that ADHD and other related diagnoses are part of some sort of trend and so has written a book called,
It’s Not a Bloody Trend: Understanding Life as an ADHD Adult (Robinson, £14.99). You can find this on Amazon in Audible, Kindle and Paperback editions.
” I had spent most of my adult life and almost all of my money trying to fix myself through exercise, weight-loss groups, hobbies, self-help books, therapies. Nothing stuck. Nothing except the gentle certainty that something was wrong – that I was wrong…”
“… When you read a piece like this, it’s nothing really: words read in a matter of moments. How can this person make such a fuss? What I need you to do is to imagine this terror stretching out through hours, days, years – a life. Imagine that you every move is accompanied by so much deafening mental chatter that you jut can’t concentrate, and that your self-esteem is shattered by finding lief so much harder than it seems to your peers, an that surely there must be something wrong in you. Add to this that you sleep badly, that you have low energy and a constant feeling of panic and that as a result you might abuse alcohol, caffeine, sugar and food either to calm yourself or gee yourself up…. well, it’s alot.”
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/08762d3f-a496-465a-9ce6-ecc9ba1a83fe
Review of Rudi Voet’s Talk
Rudi spoke to us in January about boundaries, trusting ourselves, community.
Key points
- Boundaries are a form of self-respect. We make them to protect and establish our own space, our own needs, our own limits. They show others how you would like to be treated; about what is and what is not acceptable for you. They are a way of honoring our needs and wants so that we feel respected and safe.
- Rudi referred to his garden analogy – of tending to and caring for our own garden and protecting it from damage and intrusion. When we get too involved in what other people are doing in THEIR gardens, we find that ours begins to degrade and fall apart.
- If we are highly sensitive, easily distracted, hyperactive, impulsive, curious but without discipline we may need more support and help to keep tending to our own garden (ourselves, our needs/wants) and not to be easily side-tracked, lured into tending to others over our own.
- Rudi also emphasized that in the end THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN US, NOT WITH SPECIALISTS. We have the solution within us. That is why we need each other – to help each other see this. It is so difficult to see our own situations clearly. Our stress and worry and fear and anger cloud our vision.
- That’s when we, as parents, can say, ‘Who can think together with us?” – not because THEY have the answer but because they can help us to find the way we already know (but don’t realise)
- So when we are feeling most distressed and reactive, we can remind ourselves that the clouds are here, we will see nothing in this state and it is not wise to listen to impulsive reactions in that state. Instead, be kind, take a pause. Slow down. Speak to other parents, companions who understand.
- Beware of over-blowing ‘problems into calamities’ – steady yourself, anchor yourself. This is desperately hard in time of crisis, which is why connection and community is vital. It strengthens and nurtures us. Collective wisdom.
February Talk
Wednesday 21st February @ 6.30pm
A Family Story:
Luchie Cawood, mother of 4, ex-director of Eaton House Group of Schools & now founder of Learn2Live clinic (www.learn2liveyouthclinic.com